Saturday, June 16, 2012

A Daddy's Love

So Father's Day is soon...just like Mother's Day it is not something that is anticipated in this house but something that is a little bit feared. Wesley has been feeling the burden of grief for a few days now and he knows it will pass but it is oh so suffocating. He is missing his sweet baby and his heart is breaking all over again.

He told me the other day that he doesn't really think he wants anything to change, it's not that he wants her here or wants our lives to be different, he just misses her. He misses her joy, he misses her kicks, he misses her little face, he misses her silly feet, he misses her happiness, he misses her tiny hands, he misses her soft hair, he misses her. This day just brings all the dreams of a Daddy back.

Wesley had so many dreams for his baby girl, he can't even talk about Daddy's taking their girls out for a date without getting tears in his eyes. His dream was to show Ellersley what a real man is supposed to look like; how a real man treats a lady. He wanted to be the standard for her so she would know how to choose a Godly man. He wanted to sing to her and read to her at bedtime. He wanted to be silly with her and be her knight in shining armor. He wanted to teach her how to play baseball and how to drive. He wanted to tell her how beautiful she was on her wedding day and walk her down that aisle proudly, knowing he gave her a great example of who to choose to spend her life with. The dreams of a Daddy.

Wesley, I need you to know that someday all of the dreams that you have for your sweet Ellersley will be fulfilled. Some sweet day Jesus will take all of those dreams and in an instant our entire life will flash before our eyes and all the longings and desires and dreams we had for Ellersley will be satisfied. I know it for a fact because he said that he will make all things new. Our dreams will be made new, not crushed any more. I love you and I know I say it often but that's because I just can't hold it in. You have been the greatest husband any woman could EVER ask for. You have been the greatest Daddy to our Ellersley, far greater than I ever dreamed you would be. You honor her memory and remember her in such a sweet way. Your love for her will never end and your joy over her will last forever. Jesus is so very proud of the man that you have chosen to become in Him. I love you Wesley from the very bottom of my heart...and so does our sweet Ellersley.

(make sure you pause the music on the side before hitting play)

This song reminds me of my Daddy, of course. This was the song we danced to at our wedding, as I'm sure many people do. It reminds me of how much he loves me and how much I love him. It reminds me of all of the memories we have together and all of the laughter we have shared. It reminds me that I am BLESSED to have a Daddy so involved in my life, so loving and attentive, so caring and understanding. There are so many without. I cannot imagine my life without him...

Thank you for loving me so sweetly since the day that I was born. Thank you for rocking me all those nights that I cried for no reason, I think our special bond began then! :) I love you with everything within me and I cannot imagine living a day without you. Thank you for showing me what a true gentleman should look like. Thank you for giving me the gift of Jesus, I am forever grateful. Thank you for teaching me how to have fun and not take life so seriously. Thank you for memories, too many to count. Memories of building a fire with you at the river, driving the boat with you, going with you to work, and kisses from you at bedtime. Thank you for being so strong, a tower of strength for our family. Thank you for being such a sweet grandpa, I cannot wait to give you another grandbaby, one that you will get to love and cherish the way you do all of us. One day you will get to hold Ellersley the way that you held me so long ago...I can't wait to watch in amazement! I love you forever and ever...

Elle's Mommy


Amy said...

Thinking of your husband tomorrow and All daddies out there!

Tesha said...

Awwww this is such a sweet heartfelt post. Your husband sounds amazing I am so glad they the good lord blessed Elle and you with him. Praying for you on this difficult day.