Saturday, June 23, 2012

Ships in the Night

My heart has been aching lately, for something other than our Ellersley. It all started with a Sunday morning and it has not stopped. My heart is aching for families that are broken. Families that started with a Mommy and a Daddy and ended up with the broken pieces of a child's heart. I have written a lot about my Mr Deem and many of you have come to love him because of the sweet words I say about him. Those words did not develop out of thin air... Those words are spilling over, out of a heart that has been formed and molded and changed by a God who is so redeeming. Those words are the spill over of a heart that was broken and put back together and filled up by God and God alone. Those words are spill over from hours and days and months and years of hard work.

(don't forget to pause the music to the left)

I heard this song the other day and I need you to listen to it and I need you to let it change the way you love, listen and speak to your husband. I am allowing it to do this to me and I can only hope that our marriage will continue to be a testimony to God's never-ending power. We do not have children here on this earth but someday we will (even if we have to steal some...I'm kidding...sort of) and I have vowed to myself and my God that our marriage will be a first priority. I will make sure that life does not run us over and make us so busy that we are like ships in the night. Our children's hearts are depending on it.

As I have said here before, my mom runs a daycare. We have seen hundreds of babies pass through her home, year after year. The number of babies with Mommy over here and Daddy over there is far too many to count.

Like ships in the night, you keep passing me by.

Most parents do not realize that no matter how many times you try to tell yourself they will be ok, they will not be ok. I see 3 year olds with no security...never knowing who is going to love them and take care of them. I see 7 year olds with anger issues; tantrums and hate for everyone around them. I see 12 year olds who have no idea what it means to take responsibility for their actions and no idea how to do so. I see teenagers with no respect for any adult and no understanding of love and what it really means.

My heart is aching... This week we had Vacation Bible School at our church, it was heavenly. It is an environment full of babies that just want to be loved. They want hugs and kisses; to know that there are people in the world who care and will love them unconditionally. They want parents who are not just ships in the night, not just passing each other by. They need to see love played out, they need to see respect played out, they need to see compassion and forgiveness played out. How will they learn? Who will teach them?

I remember our first year after God started to put our life back together. It was about 3.5 years into our marriage and we were learning all over again what it meant to love each other until death do us part. God was teaching us what it really meant to be one with him and with each other. We had a hard time finding our way through all of the disrespect and distrust but God was so much bigger than that. He whispered quietly through the dark and told us to grab his hand and he would lead us out to the other side. He did just that, teaching us all about time, respect, trust and ambition. It was not easy. He never said that it would be. He did say that it would be worth it in the end. We talked about the end being worth it, remember, here.

I am rambling on today to tell you to work on it. Work hard. It's hard, it's not fun and it's not easy. But aren't your babies worth it? This life is all about change isn't it? Changing from selfish to unselfish, disrespect to respect, distrust to trust, anger to joy, insecurity to vulnerability. We are supposed to be ever-changing,'s the job of a Jesus lover. Let him continue to change you; to allow you to evolve into the being that he has always intended for you to be. Someday we will be made perfect...not ever wanting to just be ships in the night, passing each other by.

Elle's Mommy

P.S. My great news...I QUIT MY JOB! :) I am now a stay at home wifey hoping to be a new mommy some day soon. Also, I am hoping to have a lot more time to blog and perhaps clean our home...we will see about the latter...

1 comment:

Liz said...

Congrats on being able to stay home. Praying for you guys and your miracles.
What a great reminder to make your relationship a priority, and to be present in your childrens life today.