Thursday, October 27, 2011

Ellersley Grace IV

We were 9 weeks and we decided it was time to tell our church family. We were so excited to let them in on our secret because they had been joining with us in asking God for a miracle. We knew they were going to be so elated. We decided to put the ultrasound picture up on the screen for the whole church to see. Wesley was going to give a testimony about an amazing healing God had performed in Hawaii. That is a completely different blog post but long story short God healed him from Celiac's disease, woohooo! So after talking about the healing he said "OH and we have a picture from vacation to show everyone." Up came the ultrasound photo and there were some audible gasps. "That's their baby!" someone said. Wes said "This is our baby...we are 9 weeks pregnant!" They were so happy, we were crying, they were laughing and crying. JOY...always that JOY! : ) Baby Honu was just spreading the love and the joy everywhere she went.

So the pregnancy moved along and with each week we grew more and more in love with our baby Honu. We moved through the first trimester with no issues at all, no bleeding, no morning sickness, no pain. There was nausea, of course, but that was cleared up quickly with some Jimmy John's pickles or Doritos or milk. The belly started to pop rather early, much to my dismay. It was weird, I always thought I would love it right away but I was not very fond of it for a while. It was popping so early, it seemed like to me. Looking back at the weekly belly photos, I popped, for real, at about 10 weeks...that's insanity! :) Eventually, I LOVED it. The belly has been another thing that I miss the MOST. I loved being pregnant, I loved knowing that she was in there and that I was taking care of her, I loved talking to her and reading to her, I loved it when Wesley talked to her and kissed her. I just loved it, loved it, loved it. Our families did too. My sister had a special song for her every time she saw her and I. "I love you little baby..." I can't remember all the words but I loved it and baby Honu loved it, of course. She got down right to my belly and sang it to her, someone told her once that the baby was still too little to hear anything. Rachel was in disbelief..."YES SHE CAN HEAR ME..." Of course she could. My nephews, Carter and Kyle, loved her more than anything. Every time they saw me they screamed, "Baby Honu...oh she's getting big!" Carter, the now 5 year old, would pull up my shirt and kiss my belly and hug it. Kyle, the 3 year old, loved to talk about her and if she was a boy or a girl. He always knew she was a girl. Baby Honu was very loved!

We made it into the 2nd trimester, no problems at all. Perfect weight, perfect measuring, perfect blood pressure. I was perfect and baby Honu was perfect, just what we wanted to hear. During the entire pregnancy my husband was completely perfect also. He packed my lunch every morning before work and he gave kisses to baby Honu and I every morning before we left. He sang to her and played guitar for her and read a lot of books to her. He always asked how I was doing and how she was doing and if we needed anything. He was always willing to do whatever I needed, I couldn't have asked for a better man. He did have some trouble with pickles in the beginning but Aunt Rachel came to the rescue with the Jimmy John's perfect pickles. : ) He was a great Daddy from before she was ever even conceived and I know he will raise a baby wonderfully on this Earth, with Jesus's help, someday.

When I started to feel her move around in there, I was just more in love than I ever thought possible. It was amazing...and totally WEIRD! It was May 28th and I was at home laying in bed. It felt like a caterpillar was crawling or moving around in my belly. That is the only way to describe it, which is totally not a good way to describe it but it's all I've got. I remember feeling it and immediately texting my family and calling Wesley at work. :) I was so excited and full of that JOY, it could not be contained. I started to feel her almost every morning and then always after lunch. She loved to eat, just like her Daddy. : ) The moving turned from a caterpillar movement to a butterfly and then to the rolling. I was not a huge fan of the rolling. I loved it, of course because it was her, but it felt like she was doing somersaults in there. I hate roller coasters and that is what it felt like, like when your stomach drops out on a roller coaster. Yes, that's what it was like. The greatest feeling I've had on this side of heaven.

June came and with it came some serious excitement. We were having our 20 week ultrasound on June 15th and that meant we were going to know whether her room would be covered in pink or covered in blue. Oh, were we pumped! We had decided a while before this day came that we were going to do the gender cake and have a gender reveal party. We sent invites to our families and closest friends: Baby Honu's Big Reveal, Father's Day Sunday at 5pm. : ) We planned to go to the ultrasound and not find out the sex of the baby. The technician would put the gender in an envelope and we would cautiously and carefully take the envelope to a dear friend of mine who would make the cake for us. She, needless to say, was in awe that she would be the first to know even before us. Wesley had June 15th off and I had taken a vacation day, I would've been way too excited to work. We decided to make a day of it; we went to the park with my mom, sister, her boyfriend (Rob), my sister-in-law Heather and our nephews. We walked and talked and the boys ran and laughed. We had a blast and then we went to lunch together. The ultrasound was at 2:30 and I had to drink loads of water at lunch and try not to pee. Peeing, by this point, was about an hourly occurrence so this was a huge deal. I had to go during lunch and after and all the way to the doctor's but needless to say I survived. We walked around downtown after lunch, it was a beautiful day. We were just basking in the glory of our Jesus and all his blessings on our life. We could not believe what we were about to do, the whole pregnancy was one surreal moment after another. Wesley and I will always remember this day, it was and still is so special to us. We remember walking thru downtown and Heather and Kyle were walking hand in hand behind us. We were talking to each other and I heard our precious little Kyle start to chant...Honu Honu Honu...he and his mama were having a blast talking about Honu and reveling in the Joy of her. That memory will be etched on our hearts and minds forever....Honu Honu Honu... : )

We got to the doctor's office and we had a posse for sure, my parents, Wesley's dad (his mom was on vacation), Rob and Rachel, Heather and the boys and Wesley and I, of course. We were all smiling from ear to ear, what a fun day! The technician started and we saw our little Honu's face. She had her hand right up by her ear...oh so sweet. I was crying and just smiling away. She showed us her head and her arms and her heart and her belly. She had her hands in a fist the whole time, right up close to her face. She looked like the sweetest, most precious baby we had ever seen. She was our miracle. We told the technician before she began what our plan was. She said she would try her hardest to make sure none of us would see what we weren't supposed to see. After showing us the belly she said, "OK now everyone turn around or close your eyes because we are getting close to that area". We all giggled and closed our eyes. Once away from 'the area' she showed us her legs and her cute little feet. We loved every second of it. She asked us to close our eyes again and we all obliged as she tried to make sure she was positive about baby Honu's gender. She said that baby Honu was turned with her back to us and she wasn't 100% sure, so she told me to get up and go pee and see if she would move. I was elated because the shoving and pushing on my belly was getting to my bladder. When I came back she had turned around and the technician said she was 100% sure of what our baby was. She left and then returned with the envelope revealing what God already knew.

We decided to give my friend the cake baker, Erica, the envelope on Friday afternoon. We worked together Monday-Friday and I knew if we gave it to her any earlier and she saw me, her face would reveal the answer. She had been soooo hoping for a baby girl and I just knew if she had even a hint of excitement in her voice or on her face, I would know. She was sworn to secrecy also...Wes would have killed her if she told anyone else. Wes came to work with the envelope on Friday afternoon, before he went to work, and we both gave Erica the envelope together. She was required, by Wes, to put the envelope in her car and at the end of the work day she could open it. Wes, he had a lot of rules. She told me after all was revealed that she was screaming and laughing by herself in her car, she said if anyone saw her they probably thought she was insane. JOY...always JOY.

So from Wednesday to Sunday we were all just one anxious ball of excitement. Is it a girl? Is it a boy? Am I huge? Am I shaped like a basketball? Am I carrying low? Am I carrying high? The heartbeat was in the 150's so, girl? We had no idea. God knew, before we ever conceived, the desire of our heart. We knew not to get our hopes up because whatever God wanted to give we wanted to love. It wouldn't have mattered at all. A little girl though was just what our hearts had been yearning for. Wesley wanted to know what the Daddy/daughter love was all about. He grew up in a house with 2 other brothers, no sisters. He had no idea what it was all about. He had been watching Father of the Bride and would cry every time by the end. God was growing a deep love for a special little lady in his heart. I am so thankful for that. Did I mention I have the sweetest husband ever? Don't tell him I told you that Father of the Bride thing... he's got to keep his macho exterior. I was in LOVE with the idea of a little girl. I am a pink-loving girl at heart. I love headbands, I love bows, I love dresses, I love flowers, I love pink walls (hot pink to be exact), I love tutus, LOVE IT LOVE IT LOVE IT. I am that mom...I had a dream while pregnant with Elle that we forgot to put a headband on her and I was MORTIFIED. It was the first time we were bringing her to church and Wesley's dad had her up in front of the entire congregation. Wesley's dad is the pastor of our church, by the way. Anyway, he had her up front and I was sitting in the congregation with my family. I am seeing this in front of me and I realize in that moment that she is wearing a sweat suit and does not have anything in her hair. I was horrified...oh I would have loved to have been that mommy. Needless to say, we wanted a girl with all of our heart and our Jesus blessed us, again, with the very desire of our heart.

Father's day came and we went to church and went to lunch, squealing all the way! We were completely in love with our baby Honu and we were so ready to slice that cake. We had the party at Aaron and Heather's house complete with pool and hot tub. Add the cake that held our future and well, it was perfect. Our entire family was there and Heather's family also, they are like family to us. Everyone could not stop talking about baby Honu and what we all thought she was. My friend, Erica, dropped the cake off earlier that day along with cupcakes that were decorated with the correct color. She had the cupcakes in a box that said "DO NOT OPEN UNTIL THE CAKE IS CUT". We were finally ready, everyone had arrived and the cake was waiting...

Elle's Mommy

1 comment:

Aunt Rachel said...

So wonderful... I love her so very much. I miss her so very much. I can't wait to see you in heaven miss Elle. Aunt Rachel can't wait to spoil you.