Scars

There is a scar now on my lower abdomen. A scar that hasn't always been there. A scar that still pangs with a sharp stinging pain when I sneeze or bump it against something. It goes across my belly in a straight red line, an ever-present reminder of where love used to be. You see, before this scar there was a swollen belly, full of all the love and joy one could possess. A belly full of promise, a belly full of dreams, a belly full of life. Her name is Ellersley Grace and she lived there, before the scar, for 7 months, 1 week and 1 day. She filled that belly with hope, with joy, with thankfulness and with more LOVE than we ever thought possible. She filled us with dreams of her future and dreams of our future together. But, then that scar came. The scar brought something other than hope and joy and love. Oh, it brought those things but it also brought sorrow and groaning and an ache so deep that it feels like it will never end. It brought fear, uncertainty and anger. It destroyed our dreams and tried to destroy our future. I read this statement in a book, love always leaves a significant mark. See, our love was there filling my belly and when she came out she left a very significant mark. Now, not only is there a mark on my belly but one on my heart. A scar that will forever remain. A scar that hasn't always been there. A scar that still hurts when I see her beautiful face or catch a glimpse of a mommy snuggling with her baby. A scar that makes my heart bleed. Your love left a very significant mark Miss Elle.

Thank you Jesus for scars. Thank you for having scars before mine. Scars that saved me, healed me and promised to make all things new. Scars that left a mark on you, a mark on history and a mark on me. Keep healing Jesus, I am waiting...

Elle's Mommy