Give Them Back...

There was a baby dedication in church on Sunday. Our church does not do baptisms on babies, we dedicate them and their lives to Jesus. Basically, the whole premise of it is this, "Thank you Lord for giving us a child, we now will give this child back to you so that you can watch over them and fulfill all your wants and desires for their life. We trust you to take care of them."

Do you think most of them have ANY idea what they are doing? I was sitting listening to this on Sunday and I can honestly say when I found out this would be happening I was actually dreading it. For more reasons than one but that's quite obvious already. Anyway, I was sitting there and most of the time all I wanted to do was run up there and tell them to stop. STOP STOP IT RIGHT NOW...DON'T YOU REALIZE WHAT YOU ARE DOING? You are basically giving God permission to do whatever He wants in your baby's life. You are telling Him that you are ready and that you trust Him with your child. Do you get it? Do you know what that means?

Dan, the pastor and my father-in-law, kept saying over and over...give your child back to God, giving your child back to God , you are going to give your child back to God. All I could think about was how we are the ones who gave our child back to God, these people haven't and more than likely they will never have to. August 13th came and we gave her back to God before we ever even had a chance to try to trust Him with her life. We had to give her back before we could dedicate her to God. I guess dedicating is all about trusting. So, we are back to that again. Trust, boooo. I'm not a fan but I guess it's something I must do in this life so I should probably tell you that I am trying. By trying I mean kicking and screaming all the way. I told Wesley that I'm not so sure that I want to dedicate our future babies to God. I am still not so sure that I am that trusting of Him yet and in his GREAT wisdom I'm sure babies won't come until I am ready. More boooing for that. Don't you think that patience should be a bad word? I TOTALLY do. I'm getting off topic. It's 6:47 AM, give me a break...

So, I guess to all the parents who have dedicated their babies to God or will dedicate their babies to God, I will say this. I hope you know what you are telling God in that moment. You are saying that it is ok if your 3 month old suddenly stops breathing one morning, you are saying that it's ok for your 3 year old baby boy to suddenly have cancer that is growing, you are saying that it's ok if they are 13 and killed suddenly by a drunk driver. You are saying that it's ok because you trust Him. You will trust His plan and you will believe in His hope. I am learning, slowly but surely. And I guess my conclusion this morning is that this life...it blows. Horrendous things are going to happen whether you put your trust in Him or not so I guess I would rather have it be in Him than not. I love the couple that dedicated their baby back to Jesus that Sunday. They have a sweet baby girl that was born 1 week and 1 day after our Ellersley. God does that sometimes. At first it seemed like a horrible joke that He was playing on us but now that baby is so sweet and we get to see firsthand what our sweet Ellersley would be like. How big she may be (even though she was preemie so she may have been a tad teeny), how many stories she'd be telling, if she could hold her own head up yet...all kinds of things. I know this couple knows the pain of those in their congregation. They know that there is more than 1 couple sitting in the audience that really has given their baby back to God. They know...I just wonder about all the others. Give your babies back to God and I hate to say it but brace yourself...cuz it could get ugly!

This seems entirely more negative than I meant for it to be. Oh well, it's how I'm feeling lately. It's a blog, it's my feelings...God told me to write it, so I wrote it. You can't be mad at me for that right?

Lord, be with me today. Lead my steps and guide my words. Give people an understanding of you and how you work Jesus. How about just give Me an understanding of that? : ) I love you and I am learning every day how to trust you and what that entails. Thank you for a growing relationship and continued learning. This life will never stop moving until the day that it does. Thank you for that. Give me peace today, you and I both know that yesterday was just an ugly day for no reason at all, whatsoever. I'm not sure what was up with that but I wasn't feeling it. Thank you for always being near...

Elle's Mommy