The Love of My Life...

I say it a lot so I will not bore you with it all over again...mushy gushy gets annoying...I love him, he loves me and we have 7 years of hills and valleys to prove it! I love you my Mr and nothing will ever take that away...

I wish I had a scanner so I could show you all what 7 years of love look like...you will have to settle for about 3 or so... :)

Happy Anniversary to my sweet Mr. Deem!

Nicki

FUN FRIDAY!!!

I was bad and didn't take any pictures this week...I'm sorry! I do, however, have quite an amazing video of my husband and I trying to be the new, up-and-coming rappers. We will be sending this in so we can be discovered...feel free to contact us via email if you are an agent... :)

Have a fantastic Friday and a wonderful weekend and try to have some FUN!

Elle's Mommy

Take-back Tuesday

So, I missed Fun Friday...only 2 weeks in and I messed it up. Today is my make-up day hence the title, Take-back Tuesday (taking us back to Fun Friday, see how that works)...Enjoy the pictures of the beautiful mess that we have going on in our corner of the world...

We took 11 balloons to our sweet girl on her 11 month birthday...sending her kisses, hugs and balloons!

Wes had to swallow that thing...it was a camera, taking pictures of his insides...what a fun job for that doctor! :)

Our Mr. Carter pretending to be a turtle

Ready for swim time!

I saw this on Facebook and loved it...Jesus shines through if he is in there!

Love you all and hope you are having a fabulous Tuesday! I have linked up today with Tesha at Tesha's Treasures. If you are a baby loss mama please link up and enjoy the company of other mamas walking the same road that you are...

Elle's Mommy

Sacred Ground

The house feels eerie...I am not sure that eerie is the word I'm looking for. Sacred, perhaps. This place is the place that we mourned her. We left here that night that she decided to arrive and we had to come back here. We had to walk those steps all over, we had to come back into this house where that tragedy began. We had to sleep in that bed and we had to walk through that living room.

As I sat in my living room tonight the heaviness of the time that is coming upon us took my breath away. It's almost been a year. August is almost here. This time, this ground; it all feels so sacred. I shouldn't be here, it's too much to walk through, it's too personal. It is personal, it is ours. It's our house, our sacred ground. I find myself remembering those quiet days after she left...days full of sunshine, lots of walks under the blue sky and our entire family sitting in our living room. They just sat there and talked. They filled our house with the sound of their voices and a lot of laughter. It was good medicine in those days. The laughter was mixed with tears throughout the day but that was ok. They didn't mind our tears and sometimes it was even some of them with the tears.

The time is coming soon and the heaviness has already shown up. I always know when it's on it's way; rolling in like a dark cloud that just can't stop itself. It wreaks of pain, heartache, longing and sadness. It taunts me and tells me that she will never be here. She will never live in this sacred place. She is the reason it is so sacred to begin with. It all began with her...it all began with her. Then, I am reminded that all of this did begin with her and I am so happy that it did. This time of year may prove to be difficult for us every year but we know that most of the year we will remember the joy of our Ellersley. We will remember the happiness she put into this home and into many hearts.

But, tonight I will sit and cry and take in the sacredness. I will let it overtake me because that's what this dance of grief is all about. I cannot push these times to the side or I will never learn what He is trying to teach me in the midst of them. I will remember those days after her...I will remember the tears, the heaviness, the sadness, the laughter, the hugs, the kisses from my sweet nephews, the love of my very best friend, the meals, the cards, the money, the visits...I will remember all of these things.

Jesus...the time is coming. Be near to our hearts, Lord. Tonight as I remember those sacred days, please wipe away my tears and take my kisses to my sweet baby girl...

Elle's Mommy

A Puzzlement

Well...this is what life has come down to; a puzzlement. When we heard the doctor tell my husband that he was a puzzlement we all laughed and then we looked it up. Was puzzlement really even a word?

Puzzlement- the state of being puzzled; perplexity

something puzzling

My poor Mr Deem was in the hospital for a week...7 days straight. Then we left and the only answer we were given was that he was a puzzlement. Needless to say I was stressing to the max. I wanted answers and I wanted them RIGHT NOW. It is unacceptable to be bleeding internally and then all of a sudden it stops and you get no answer as to why it ever happened in the first place. I need answers, remember we've discussed this before. I hate questions, I love answers. I need them. I need to know.

When the doctor said that, it was pretty much impossible not to laugh. Our lives have been a puzzlement, buddy, that's what I wanted to say. Welcome to the freakin' circus. I didn't, I refrained but I came close. This life is just comical sometimes, like I've said before, you must laugh or you will cry. And who doesn't want to laugh instead of cry, I mean really?

This all reminds me of that ever-popular verse (SYKE)...

Proverbs 16:9 We can make our plans, but the Lord determines our steps.

He knows and has determined every single step before we ever even take it. He knows how many steps we will have on this earth and what each and every one of them will hold. He knew that our steps would contain the trials of this life; he knew we would step right into adultery, control, death, fear, anger, sickness and a lot of hurt. But he also knew we would step out and into a stronger marriage, joy everlasting, peace, strength beyond our years and a hope to pass on to others.

I know that this trial will be no different than all of the others. I know that he has a plan but sometimes his plan scares me. He seems to think pretty highly of me and well, I am afraid of that. I know that he will always direct my steps and lead me into the places that he wants me to be in for my good but some of those places have been oh so scary. He knows though and that makes it all a little bit better.

Thank you Jesus for knowing each and every step I will take in this life... Thank you for planning them out just for me because you love me that much. Thank you for that ever-popular verse and the reminder that it is to me that my plans mean nothing and yours mean everything. Thank you for the steps that Mr Deem and I have already taken together in this life and I pray that you will allow us to take many more together. I, of course, am asking for them to get a little easier; I'm becoming a bit of a sissy, so if you could let up some that would be great! We have already discussed the fact that my steps need to be with Wesley, so don't even think about doing anything crazy...I love you and I'm so glad that we can have these chats every day...

Elle's Mommy

FUN Friday

This week has not been very fun...but in the spirit of fun Friday, I will try my best! :) Here are some more fabulous pictures of the beautiful yet messy lives that we lead...

Our Family Picnic-July 4th

I took baby Sylas down the slip and slide...he was less than thrilled but still so handsome

he is the cutest...seriously

Mr taking his turn at the slide...perfect shot!

This entire week was spent in the hospital, as most of you know. Here are a few shots of us trying to enjoy our time there...

handsome mr deem laying around

I can't remember what day this was but from the amount of grease on my hair, I'm gonna say day 3 with no shower :)

our view from the top

I beat him at War and well, he was not happy

I found this slap bracelet at Wal-mart today and I thought it was awesome... :)

Thank you to everyone who said some prayers for my sweet husband and our family. We are so grateful for all of you and all the love and support you have given. Wesley is doing great today, we were able to come home yesterday and things have been pretty good since then. He does have another Gastro test on Monday and we are hoping that gives some answers as to why the bleeding started in the first place. We will see. Thanks again...love to all of you and...

HAPPY FUN FRIDAY!

Elle's Mommy

Please Pray

Good morning everybody! This is not something I have ever done on here but your prayers are desperately needed. My prince charming that I speak of so often is in the hospital. We have been here since last Friday afternoon and the doctors are having a hard time finding out what the issue is. He has been bleeding internally, which is lowering his blood level and now seems to be having some effect on his heart. The doctors thought they found the source of his bleeding but they did not and it has continued. Much to our dismay he had to have a blood transfusion last night. We are thankful for the blood and we hope that it raises his blood level. The doctor will be running some more tests today to see if they can find the source of the bleeding and stop it from happening. Please pray for my sweet Mr Deem...we know that God is always near and we thank him always for joy even if it is doused with sarcasm! This life is just comical sometimes...ya gotta laugh or you will cry! Thank you all so much...this was sent from my iPhone so I apologize for any ridiculous errors, haha! I hope you all are having a fabulous day... Nicki

FUN FRIDAY!!!

So, I'm starting something new. Fun Friday...which means picture time! :) I will try to post some pictures every Friday from here until...well, forever I guess! Pictures of life around here...

Enjoy and have a FUN FRIDAY!

sweet Abby 'relaxing' in the hot tub

Annalise, the littlest princess

crazy boy on wet Wednesday at VBS

 the big boy

my sweet girl and I at the water park

  

so much fun

uncle Wes and his boys

we had all these babies for 5 days, it was bliss...crazy bliss but still bliss :)

we had a little grouchiness

bubble time

so sweet, the best of friends

pretty girl

it was my Dad's birthday so he got silly stringed... :)

blowing out candles

excited for fireworks and lightening bugs

uncle rob and aunt Rachel trying the poppers

Abby giving it a try

we ended the night with smoke balls...woohoo

 Elle's Mommy