Wednesday, July 18, 2012

A Puzzlement

Well...this is what life has come down to; a puzzlement. When we heard the doctor tell my husband that he was a puzzlement we all laughed and then we looked it up. Was puzzlement really even a word?

Puzzlement- the state of being puzzled; perplexity
something puzzling

My poor Mr Deem was in the hospital for a week...7 days straight. Then we left and the only answer we were given was that he was a puzzlement. Needless to say I was stressing to the max. I wanted answers and I wanted them RIGHT NOW. It is unacceptable to be bleeding internally and then all of a sudden it stops and you get no answer as to why it ever happened in the first place. I need answers, remember we've discussed this before. I hate questions, I love answers. I need them. I need to know.

When the doctor said that, it was pretty much impossible not to laugh. Our lives have been a puzzlement, buddy, that's what I wanted to say. Welcome to the freakin' circus. I didn't, I refrained but I came close. This life is just comical sometimes, like I've said before, you must laugh or you will cry. And who doesn't want to laugh instead of cry, I mean really?

This all reminds me of that ever-popular verse (SYKE)...

Proverbs 16:9 We can make our plans, but the Lord determines our steps.

He knows and has determined every single step before we ever even take it. He knows how many steps we will have on this earth and what each and every one of them will hold. He knew that our steps would contain the trials of this life; he knew we would step right into adultery, control, death, fear, anger, sickness and a lot of hurt. But he also knew we would step out and into a stronger marriage, joy everlasting, peace, strength beyond our years and a hope to pass on to others.

I know that this trial will be no different than all of the others. I know that he has a plan but sometimes his plan scares me. He seems to think pretty highly of me and well, I am afraid of that. I know that he will always direct my steps and lead me into the places that he wants me to be in for my good but some of those places have been oh so scary. He knows though and that makes it all a little bit better.

Thank you Jesus for knowing each and every step I will take in this life... Thank you for planning them out just for me because you love me that much. Thank you for that ever-popular verse and the reminder that it is to me that my plans mean nothing and yours mean everything. Thank you for the steps that Mr Deem and I have already taken together in this life and I pray that you will allow us to take many more together. I, of course, am asking for them to get a little easier; I'm becoming a bit of a sissy, so if you could let up some that would be great! We have already discussed the fact that my steps need to be with Wesley, so don't even think about doing anything crazy...I love you and I'm so glad that we can have these chats every day...

Elle's Mommy

1 comment:

Tesha said...

Love this heart felt letter to our lord!Your heart of trust is beautiful Praying that you have MANY more not just better but WONDERFUL happy decades with Mr Deem!